Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)

Wrapping paper or gift bags?
· Gift bags. The only thing I'm wrapping is an old school jam, yo.

Real tree or artificial?
· As artificial as the commercialized spirit of the season.

When do you put up the tree?
· The day after Thanksgiving.

When do you take the tree down?
· When I'm good and goddamned ready.

Do you like egg nog?
· Sure, if it's spiked with enough hooch.

Hardest person to buy for?
· Kelly, because she is so spoiled and has everything she needs anyway.

Easiest person to buy for?
· Mr. Peaches, because my undying and eternal love is all he wants for Christmas.

Mail or email Christmas cards?
· Mail. Who the hell emails Christmas cards?

Favorite Christmas movie?
· A Christmas Story

When do you start shopping for Christmas?
· I try to buy things periodically throughout the year.

Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
· God help me, but yes, I have regifted.

Clear lights or colored on the tree?
· Colored, because it's harder to tell if they are crooked than clear lights.

Favorite Christmas song?
· Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC.

Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
· Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph. Give me a challenge next time, suckers.

Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
· Christmas morning. What kind of heathen shoots their holiday load on Christmas Eve?

Most annoying thing about this time of year?
· Shopping amongst people who have no conception that there are other people on the earth who insist on trampling all over you like you don't fucking exist.

Favorite ornament theme or color?
· I dig snowmen and have them all over my house and office.

What do you want for Christmas this year?
* My two front teeth, of course.