I was in the bathroom last night, preparing to drop off the Browns at the Super Bowl. Y'know, put the brownies in the oven. Y'know, check if Puxatawnee Phil can see his shadow.
Anyhoo, whilst I was preparing, my five year old daughter Ally came barrelling into the bathroom, sat down on the floor, put her tiny little face in her tiny little hands, and just looked at me. I asked her what she was doing and she said, "Nothing." I told her what I was about to do and asked her to leave. "Why, Mama?" I told her because I wasn't comfortable with an audience.
Meanwhile, the cat came in and sat down to observe the goings on.
Ally couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that I didn't want to drop a deuce in front of her. I tried to explain to her that some things needed to be done in private. She came back with the lightning quick logic of a five year old mind: "But you come in the bathroom with me and you used to wipe my poopy booty when I wore diapers, so why can't I be in here with you?" So I tell her, "I just can't, sugar."
Then, she gives me her patented "Mama, you're such a dumb ass" look and tells me, "Sure you can. All you have to do is try really hard."
God, I love that child and my glamorous life.
About Me
My Top Fifty Favorite Songs
I have been so busy being the coolest bitch on the planet that my poor blog has fallen by the wayside. My life is not interesting enough to talk about on a regular basis, so I have come up with a way to blog with a purpose. Not a staggering life-altering purpose, but a purpose nonetheless. A while back I brought up the amazing website Songfacts and our tendency to vote on anything and everything that comes to mind. I've decided to randomly go through the list of my Top Fifty Favorite Songs and tell you why I love each song and what part it has played in my life. I will report that I have extremely varied and odd taste in music, from the almighty Tenacious D to Etta James to Run DMC to Rick mother fucking Astley. You may read the original post here. And don't worry, we've done a second Top Fifty since that post so you've got at least 100 golden nuggets to look forward to.
KARI'S TOP FIFTY
A Change is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
A Song for You - Donny Hathaway
Ain't Too Proud to Beg - The Temptations
And I Am Telling You - Jennifer Holliday
At Last - Etta James
Boys of Summer - Don Henley
Burnin' Up - Madonna
Chain of Fools - Aretha Franklin
Cult of Personality - Living Color
Desperado - The Eagles
Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me - Elton John
Dust in the Wind – Kansas
Fallin’ - Alicia Keys
Father Figure – George Michael
Fire - Jimi Hendrix
Happy Together - The Turtles
Hush - Kula Shaker
I Wish - Stevie Wonder
In My Daughter’s Eyes - Martina McBride
It's Tricky - Run DMC
Let’s Stay Together - Al Green
Long Way Down – The Goo Goo Dolls
Monkey Man - The Rolling Stones
Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
No Sleep Til Brooklyn – The Beastie Boys
One Love - Bob Marley
Rescue Me - Fontella Bass
Rock and Roll All Night - KISS
Rock Lobster - B-52s
Rock With You - Michael Jackson
Separate Ways - Journey
September - Earth, Wind & Fire
Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills & Nash
Stay - Sugarland
Tempted - Squeeze
The Message - Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
The Reflex - Duran Duran
Tribute - Tenacious D
What I Want – Daughtry
Who Put the Bomp? – Barry Mann
You Don't Know Me - Ray Charles
You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC
You're My Best Friend - Queen
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The Cool Kids
My Favorite Blogs
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Blind Item #1310 hours ago
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I Didn't Say It ...16 hours ago
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Today2 years ago
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Here's the What What3 years ago
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Pool Party4 years ago
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Man Stories6 years ago
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Song Of The Day7 years ago
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I'VE MOVED7 years ago
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Unpopular Opinion7 years ago
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Friday Morning Latin Lesson: Vol CXIII7 years ago
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Farewell8 years ago
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hello (again)9 years ago
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UPDATE10 years ago
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The World’s Best Meatloaf11 years ago
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And The American Idol Finale Winner Is...11 years ago
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We Moved!!!12 years ago
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Band from Poland: Psychohollywood12 years ago
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Time For Me to Fly13 years ago
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Caught on Tape13 years ago
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Christmas Meme14 years ago
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Blogroll16 years ago
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7 comments:
This is why I lock the door when I go.
I haven't dropped the kids off at the pool by myself since Sam was mobile. And I don't lock the door because the constant knocking and "Mama! Mama! Mama!" doesn't make the experience any more relaxing.
You are absolutely right, lady. There's no point to locking the door. I'd have to get up mid-squat with my pants around my ankles to unlock the door anyway. Such is motherhood.
After three and a half years and dozens of hotel stays, my girlfriend has finally, brutally, been made aware that I poop.
She still does not. Ever.
It's kinda scary.
Sounds like the sister might be a bit backed up, Stuart. :)
Too funny! I won't even admit that I do poop, so you are now my personal hero.
Love the blog!
oxox
Bev, I'm sure I talk enough about pooping for the both of us.
Thanks for the kind words. You always crack me up, so I'm very flattered. :)
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