Suckling from the Electronic Teat



I wanted this blog to be a happy and funny place, which is why I haven't posted lately. I've been in a bitch ass mood for the past couple of weeks and I didn't want to pollute the universe with my funk.

So I've decided to focus on something that makes me happy: TV. I don't have the time nor the money to lead the fabulous and glamorous life I deserve. The next best thing is to watch ridonkulous amounts of television. May God/Yaweh/Allah/Hasselhoff bless the inventor of the DVR. It is the greatest piece of technology on the planet as it allows me to record hours of crap to watch when I get a few minutes to watch here and there. Of course half the time I end up falling asleep whilst watching and snort myself awake in the middle of something or other.



I'm at the exciting time of the year when I try to figure out what new shows to watch, what old shit to stop watching, and wrapping up the random summer shows I've been passing time with. This is also when I start longing for Lost and 24 to come back into my life sometime in January or February.

Along with countless hours of Spongebob mother fucking Squarepants, late night infomercials, and my long standing nightly love affair with Conan O'Brien, here is what my weekly DVR schedule looks like:

Sunday
Mad Men
Entourage

Monday
How I Met Your Mother
Gossip Girl
Castle

Tuesday
Hell's Kitchen
So You Think You Can Dance

Wednesday
New Adventures of Old Christine
Glee
Criminal Minds
Top Chef

Thursday
Project Runway
The Office
Fringe
Community
30 Rock
The Mentalist

Friday
The Soup

Saturday
Saturday Night Live

Mother Television has her grasp on me and apparently has no intention of letting me go. Heaven help me.

7 comments:

Bev said...

We watch a lot of the same shows, include SpongeBob MF Squarepants! Might I suggest the addition of Dexter to your viewing schedule? Great show, returning this Sunday. ;)

Sorry you've been in a crap mood!

spectacle319 said...

As a person whose broke ass cannot afford TV, I say in all smugness you really don't miss it when it's gone. Until you feel compelled to watch a gaysian sew a sparkly pants suit and then life really really sux.

Samsmama said...

Holy hell, hot stuff! We have too much in common!

How I Met Your Mother

Hell's Kitchen

Old Christine

Criminal Minds

Top Chef

Community

30 Rock

We had to go get a second DVR box for all the crap we watch. So sad.

Could I interest you in a Real Housewives series? C'mon, any will do. Think about it, get back to me.

phu nguyen said...

You are a TV addict! What about an outside activity ? Sport practising ? Meeting friends ?

Robin said...

You make me snort with giggles when I read your posts! You are the author of one of my favorite blogs to read - so I linked you for an award!

Come on over and claim it :)

Kari said...

Bev, we watch the same shows because we are both freaking awesome! I was an avid Dexter fan, but I haven't watched it this season. I think the idea of him married to that milquetoast bitch and having a kid is too creepy. I like my serial killers single and ready to mingle.

Shannon, I light a candle in your honor every Thursday when Tim says "Make it work" and Heidi spouts off one of her Teutonic taunts.

Samsmama, we rock the freaking house, woman! And I can't believe I left out the Housewives. I am currently into the ghetto wives and I am pleased to report that I am not tardy for the party, bitch. I am also a fan of the Joisey broads. "We are thick as thieves." That is so fucking spectacular.

Phu, I know I am sad and pitiful. That was kind of the point. And btw, my friends live in the TV.

Robin! You are my new bff! Thank you, sugar. :)

R4 card said...

I think this nice way of making the life joyful. I think which shows you use to watch are awesome.