Top Fifty - I Wanna Be Your Lover

Mere words cannot describe how much I love Prince Rogers Nelson. I have adored that little purple bastard since the late 70s. I saw him in concert in the 80s and I just about had a coronary embolism when he drove out on stage in the flyest purple pimp mobile you have ever seen. He is a 4 foot nothing musical giant who can fill an entire arena with just his presence and assless chaps. I've never found him terribly attractive but I can definitely see the appeal. I've always said that I don't want to fuck him but I'd love to watch him fuck someone else.



It was very difficult to choose one song per artist for my Top Fifty. However, "I Wanna Be Your Lover" is absolutely my favorite Prince track, hands down. Sure I love at least two hundred Prince songs, but this is the one I immediately start dancing to every time I hear the beginning notes. If you can listen to this and not move at least one part of your body, you have no soul, man.



For all the respect I have for him, I do understand that Prince is a polarizing figure. He sometimes makes it easy to forget about his music when he's pulling stunts like writing the word "slave" on his face or changing his name to an unpronounceable symbol. As a testament of my love for Prince, I briefly changed my name to a symbol back in the 90s:



As an extra bonus, please enjoy Charlie Murphy's story about playing basketball with Prince (as played by Dave Chappelle). "Game - blouses."

Top Fifty - I Wanna Be Sedated

I love me some Ramones. They can do no wrong in my book. They would come in, rock your face off in two minutes with three chords, and get right the fuck out before you knew what hit you. I totally wanted to be PJ Soles because she got to hang out with the guys in "Rock 'n' Roll High School".



The boys had so many great songs, including "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" and "Blitzkrieg Bop". However, "I Wanna Be Sedated" has always been my favorite. The "ba ba ba" in the chorus gets me up and jumping around every time I hear it.

Top Fifty - Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

I've already talked of my love for Marvin Aday aka Bob "Bitch Tits" Paulson aka Eddie here, but I am of the mindset that there is no such thing as too much Meat Loaf. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, yo.



Who would have thought that such a soggy looking summamabitch could sing such a beautifully heart wrenching song about love gone awry? That brother is sweatier than Patrick Ewing during double overtime.



I want you, goddamnit. I need you, you rat bastard. But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you, mother fucker.