The Seven Deadly Sins

Wrath

What is your weapon of choice?
My fists of fury.

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
In a hot minute, yo.

How about the same sex?
In a hot half a minute, yo.

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
I'm oblivious to the feelings of those around me, but chances are it was Mr. Peaches. I live to torment that poor, sweet bastard.

What is your pet peeve?
Anything mouth related. (Get your mind out of the gutter.) Whistling, popping gum, chewing with an open mouth...it all drives me out of my damned tree.

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I tend to get really furious with the quickness, but then I get over it with the quickness as well.

Sloth

What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?
Make the bed. I'm going to get right back in it, so what's the point?

What is the latest you've ever woken up?
Since the Peachlette was born? 7 o'fucking clock.

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
My dog ate my will to live. And I don't even have a dog.

Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
Of course...who doesn't ? I love me an informercial. I don't care what it's about, I'm there, and I'd love to pay for it in 2 easy installments of $19.99.


Gluttony

What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
A crappucino from the local gas station.

Are you a meat eater?
Duh. If it once had a heartbeat, it is now on my plate.

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Is this a trick question? I don't remember the greatest amount of alcohol I've had at once because I was probably passed out at the time and therefore in no condition to remember anything.

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
Yes. Sweatpants also make me very comfortable with my drinking and eating habits.

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
Salty foods. I'm thinking of installing a salt deer lick in my house to satisfy my cravings.

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
What do I look like, Jeffrey Dahmer? Sheesh.

Greed

How many credit cards do you own?
More than 1, less than 100.

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
Buy a new house and install a bacon dispensing machine in every room.

Would you rather be rich or famous?
Rich. I'm already famous in my own mind.

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
Without a second thought.

Pride

What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?
Go back to college at my advanced age.

What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?
Menopause.

Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Another trick question. I'm always in possession of much higher skill than all other competitors.

Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
Not that I can recall, but I have been known to be a sneaky bitch at times, so I can't guarantee it.

Lust

How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
Ummm...I cannot make an accurate estimation of that number.

How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)?
It's my life's goal to flash as many people as possible, so again, I cannot make an accurate estimation of that number.

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
Staring, no. A casually interested glance or two, sure.

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
Smile...lips and teeth. I don't like no jacked up grill, yo.

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
Does telling someone to go fuck themselves count? Because if it does, I have orgies every day.

Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
Yes, by your mother.

Envy

Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
Kelly, just to see that bitch lift a finger.

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
The doctor who performs Jack Black's prostate exams.

Have you ever been cheated on?
What the hell does this have to do with envy? I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may force me to go into my past and pimp slap someone.

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Patience, grasshopper.

What deadly sin:

Do you do the most often?
Wrath.

Do you do the least often?
Envy.

Is your favorite to act on?
It's a tie. Ideally, I'd act on lust first and then indulge in some sloth.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't mind me totally stealing this for my blog, cause I'm gonna.

Anonymous said...

I found your dream-machine

*g*

Chinese Shenyang mold hardware said...

Very good,

The Seeker said...

It's a bad sign that the your mother joke literally made me laugh out loud, right?