Not for Nothing November - Part 11

I love me some Jeopardy. I've watched it with Alex Trebek as host since the 80s. He's still not the same without the Canadian porn 'stache.

I have tried out for the show twice, to no avail. That shit be hard, yo. However, I'm determined to keep trying until I make it. I haven't tried out since Ally was born, so I've got to get it together and, in the words of my silver fox Tim Gunn, make it work. I need to make this happen before La Trebek retires, which should be soon considering he has to be in his early hundreds.

I'm so obsessed that my ring tone is the final Jeopardy theme. A student stole my cell phone out of my office about a year ago, so I keep my new phone in my bra to prevent future thievery. Every so often I forget to turn my phone to vibrate and my boob will ring out, "Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo, doo doo doo doo, doo, doo...bum bum."

Obviously, any talk of Jeopardy would be incomplete without without mentioning the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skits featuring Will Ferrell as Trebek and Darryl Hammond as Sean Connery. A special shout out goes to Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds aka Turd Ferguson.

Here's an awesome soundboard


Alex Trebek: Let's go to "Members of Simon and Garfunkel" for $200. "Of Simon and Garfunkel, the one that is not Garfunkel." [Bjork buzzes in] Bjork?

Bjork: Sometimes when I'm putting oranges in the sauerkraut, I think of my thoughts and they make me laugh. [buzz] No?

Alex Trebek: Are you Icelandic or retarded? [Sean Connery buzzes in] Sean Connery?

Sean Connery: Can you repeat the question?

Alex Trebek: "Of Simon and Garfunkel, the one that is not Garfunkel".

Sean Connery: I Garfunkeled your mother. [starts laughing]


Stuart said...

I'd love to comment, but honestly I can't read a damned thing. As much of a fan I am of the dark grey on darker grey with a splash of violent red motif ... it hurts my widdle pupils.


Headphones Monkey said...

I took the online test last year to no avail. I say f--k any f--k--s who don't want us on their show.

Kari said...

Sack up and quit yer bitchin', Stuart. You're all man...I trust you can handle a bit of eye strain.

Oh, and hi right backatcha! :)

Sugarfoot, I've not taken the online test yet. I tried out old school in a room full of dorks and dweebs. I remember being so intimidated by some of the "smart lookin'" folks. And I remember feeling at least semi-vindicated when the same "smart lookin'" folks walked their dumb asses out right along side me when they were rejected, too.

Samsmama said...

No shit, Stuart! You getting your period?

My mom tried out for Jeopardy in 1987, on my 14th birthday. There was a clip of her on the news where she was quoted as saying, "Not a person in the world knows I'm here." Jig is up, Mama! And she said it was insanely hard, and that was back in the day. I imagine Ken Jennings has fucked it up for the rest of us. Ken Jennings. Who is a douchebag?